I used to think that I had a big problem with spoiled kids and do nothing celebrities because they never had to work for anything and it made them rude and inconsiderate. I used to think the reason I get sick to my stomach when I watched shows like Super Sweet 16 and other “reality” shows where people acted like the world revolved around them was because they thought they were superior to others. When I see people in public treat waitstaff and retail clerks like garbage, I used to think it was their unbelievable ego that made me want to slap the taste out of their mouth. After some thinking and reading I figured out what it actually was: an unearned sense of entitlement. It goes beyond being rude and self centered. It seems people act this way because something has caused them to think that not only should they get what they want, they deserve it.
Maybe it stems from not being given a lot as a kid (My mother was/is very frugal, only shops in the clearance, nothing name brand including toys), maybe it’s because I haven’t been without a job since I was 10 (don’t worry, I was delivering news papers not sewing soccer balls), or maybe it’s because I come from a long line of people who have had to work hard to provide for and support themselves and their families. Whatever the reason, I find myself getting more and more angered when I see this type of behavior. Not because it affects me, and it does from time to time, but because I see it becoming more and more accepted. To watch someone walk in front of other people and demand service before them isn’t the unthinkable, rude act it once was. Watching kids throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want used to be limited to 5 and under but now it seems teenagers took a page from that book to get a phone so she can text her bff Jill 24/7 regardless of whether the family can afford it.
Now, as someone with low self esteem, I admire people being sure of themselves and going after what they want with confidence. My issue is the source of the confidence and the overly-confidant. When I order a drink at the bar, I know exactly what I want and say it confidently. Jameson. Double. On the rocks. No hemming and hawing, straight and to the point. But before and after I order, I wait patiently to be served. I am not blind to the other 20 people trying to order. I don’t get upset if the bartender serves the person closer to her even if they got to the bar after me. I make my presence known and once acknowledged I wait. Some people on the other hand take the approach that they are entitled to instant service due to their cosmic entitlement. You can see them yelling at the bartender, snapping, waving, anything to speed up the process they can’t be bother with going through. It’s not that they are impatient, everyone has their moments with that, it’s the sense that waiting in line for anything is below them somehow.
I love quotes so here’s my first conscious attempt at one: “Stature can be earned or inherited. If you didn’t earn it, act accordingly “ Example: I was born in America because my parents lived here. I didn’t have to earn my citizenship. I didn’t have to work to earn the rights and luxuries that come with being a citizen. Am I proud to be a citizen? You bet. Do I take it for granted? All the time. Am I humbled by it when I read about people who have to spend years dealing with paperwork and take tests to achieve the same status as me? More than you know. I got to cut the line just because of who my parents were. We tend not to think of it in terms of that. When we think about people who are privileged because of who their parents are we tend to think of the rich and famous but having parents who are American citizens is pretty sweet. So I don’t dare act like I am better or above any trying to live here because I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth in that regard.
My main beef is with today’s culture. Bratz , Gossip Girls, The Hills, Paris Hilton, Super Sweet 16, Reality Shows, MTV dating shows, and so on and so on. There is an industry telling kids and teens alike that your goals should be material and superficial and that you deserve nothing but the best if you fit their mold of beauty. We watch shows that glorify 16yr old children from well to do families who are ungrateful of the comfort and luxury their parents careers have provided them. They complain about minor details of parties that cost more than a normal wedding. They treat their parents, the ones gracious enough to pay for the party, like servants and doormats. That is taken in by average kids who think that this is an appropriate way to act if you want a $300 hand bag or a $20k car at 16. I’m not going to get into the issue of the parents role in all this now, but it’s their lack of parenting that leads to a lot of this accepted behavior. Instead, I want to discuss how this gets translated into adult life.
Now I am not talking about the well off people who have never had to work and don’t know what it means to earn something. They are too easy to diagnose. I’m trying to figure out the middle of the road people like you and me who feel that they deserve to get their before I get mine. The ones that cut in line, cut you off in traffic without an afterthought, and think that the standard rules of society don’t apply to them. After 9/11 the first thing people would ask is “How are you doing?” and “Are you ok?”. That lasted a whole 2 weeks. Now people start conversations without so much as a hello, overly excited to start talking about themselves without even asking if the other person wants to hear it. They assume that the person obviously wants to listen based on the fact that they themselves are talking. We reinforce these ideas every time a news story about celebrities doing normal day to day thing runs. I couldn’t care less about who’s adopting a baby or who is getting a divorce. I would be irate if people I didn’t know were being told the details of my breakup. But thanks to this sense of entitlement, we feel that we deserve to know everything that is going on in the life of a person just because they were in a movie, regardless of the fact that the person wants to be private about it.
Ok, here my point. The cause of 90% of the drama in peoples lives today is the idea that we are entitled to say whatever we want about people without consequence and we are entitled to peoples trust and respect without earning it. We are shocked when our innapropriate behaviour or hurtful comments are found out. Instead of being upset with ourselves for our actions we get angry for having a fake bond broken. How upset can you be with someone for repeating what you said after spending hours shittalking someone? It’s one thing if its your closest friend who you have known for years but it’s presumptious to assume somone you barely know will or should treat everything you say as top secret. So here’s the lesson of the day kids: You aren’t entitled to anything. You aren’t special, unique, and you aren’t above protocol and procedure. You have to earn trust and respect of everyone you meet. Nobody really cares who you are or who you think you are. You don’t deserve anything from anyone ever unless you put the work in to earn it. Your attitude and behaviour is a reflection of who you are. If you think like the world owes you something it will turn around one day and say “Wait, who are you? Never heard of you.”
